my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
