Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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