i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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