She's JV to your varsity
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
