can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
