honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
