I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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