I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
