i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
