nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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