i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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