I think i peed on brittanys purse
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
