We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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