Cold hands, warm shart.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize