So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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