Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
