She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
