Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
