I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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