she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
