ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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