Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
