my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
