ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
