its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
