Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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