The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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