Swine flu is the new snow day.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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