But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
