I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
