i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
