i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were destined to go to rehab together
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
