i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Drunk is not a location!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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