Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
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cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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