good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
