Sponge bath it is.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
