no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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