If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
