Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
