omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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