probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
