i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
