Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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