she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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