Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I did not marry a roomba.
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