no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
