This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
