Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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