take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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