I'm going to rape someone's good day.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
