Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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