I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were destined to go to rehab together
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
