R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
