You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
don't judge my taste in strippers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
