Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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