I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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