I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
