Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
