What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
