So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
