Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
