don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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